Tag Archives: writing 110

Writing Status: Improved

I’m kind of proud to say that I’ve seen my writing improve a lot from when I first started. Usually, I forget that people can’t read my mind and I’ll try to explain something, but then not give all the details. Now it seems that I rarely do that; so that’s one improvement. Another improvement, I’d say, is not trying to make my rough draft perfect. That’s how I started writing my papers this year; but then I made my rough drafts a tool for getting my thoughts down, and from that I’ve seen my final drafts improve. It’s clear, though, that my writing skills still has some need of improvement.

My biggest area of writing that I still struggle in are citing sources and small writing errors: punctuation, spelling, grammar, tense changes, etc.. It’s those small little things that get me every time. Instead at looking for the smaller errors, as such, I look for the larger ones such as organization, clear points, or transitions. But even though I make such errors, I still enjoy writing more than I used to; I also thought that some of the assignments were actually kind of fun.

My favorite, and second most difficult, essay was the research paper. I was extremely grateful when I was told I could choose my topic. I decided my topic would be my favorite genre of books: Navy SEAL’s. Sounds weird for a female college student, huh? I had already read four autobiographies by Navy SEAL’s and a bit of their experience. It was a bit tricky to narrow my topic. Originally, it was going to be based on their training, but as I was writing, I noticed I focused more on who they were and how becoming a SEAL affected their lives. I struggled to make my paper less than eight pages long because there was so much I had read about them that I wanted to say, but I had fun writing it. You’re probably wondering “if this essay was her second most difficult essay, what was the first one?” The answer: the argumentative essay.

I struggle with argumentative essays more than any other essay. I find searching for arguments, supporting both sides of an argument, difficult. This is how mind works when it comes to argumentative essays: choose an arguable topic, find at most three main arguments from both sides, give each side valid sources who argue their point, and make sure my side sounds more convincing. Sounds nice, right? Well, I have the worst time trying to find a topic that can be argued either way, and then providing the best sources that support both sides. I think I work harder than I need to. I guess that’s another struggle I need to deal with in writing.

Overall, my writing isn’t perfect, but I’ve improved and I enjoy it more than I did in my earlier years. Sometimes I’ll narrate my own actions in my head to see to try and improve me first person writing. Or I’ll try narrating someone else in third person and find how I can make it sound interesting or easy to understand. I have to say, again, I’m proud that I’m doing better in my writing, and I hope that I can maybe even try to publish my very own book.

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Past, “I hate writing.” Now, “I love writing!”

If someone would have asked me if I saw writing in my future when I was in high school, my immediate response would have been “no.” Recently, however, I’ve been more interested in writing than I’ve ever been before. During my senior year of high school, I took a creative writing class, and it was near the end of the class where I felt a desire to continue writing. My first assignment in that class was to write a story of my choice; topic, genre, person, tense, etc., that was all up to me. At first, I was going to write a rip off of the video game “Assassian’s Creed Brotherhood.” But one night as I drove home from worship practice, an idea suddenly came to my mind; an idea that was original. Even after I had turned the story in and received my grade for the paper, I still continued to write more to it. I would go to my writing professor and friends in college for their critique on my story and how to make it better. I’ve gotten a lot of help, and even changed some scenes. I might even change the plot. It is now a goal to finish the story and publish it as a book.

If I were to see myself now from only a few years ago, I would have said something like “that’s not me” or “how’d I get hooked on crack?” Ok, the last one is an exaggeration, but you get the point. I have had millions of story ideas come and go in my mind, but I’ve written some down in a book in case I’m interested in writing more. I love drawing characters that I would see in my stories, and I kind of see writing as a style of art; words can create images in peoples minds more beautiful than images drawn by hand. Had it not been for the creative writing class, I would never had written my beloved story Demon Hunters.

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Who gets the glory: God or Tim Tebow?

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Dear Dave Decker,

I believe that you’re missing an important role Tim Tebow played in football: he gave glory to God. I get where you’re coming from when, in a child’s perspective, you say “why did God let the bad team win?” I would have thought the same if I were a child, watching my favorite football team (U of O) lose to the “bad team” *cough* OSU *cough* with the help of the “good guy.” I’m pretty sure that there were Christians who were not sided with the Bronco’s, but still recognized Tebow as a devout Christian. I’m an athlete, and I know that sports are just games, no matter the league. There’s more to life than that, and that’s what Tebow shows when he’s on the field.

Written in I Thessalonians 5:16-18 is “[r]ejoice always; pray without seizing, in everything give thanks. For this is God’s will for in Jesus Christ.” Tim Tebow gave thanks after every game; wither a win or a lost. You said that the gesture Tebow gave was unnecessary because he was getting all the praise, not God. When Tebow wrote John 3:16 on his face, over six million people googled that verse. Six million people who never heard of Jesus learned of his astounding love for them because one man, a talented athlete who could have given himself glory, chose to give his God the glory. My dad was a high school football coach, and during one of the many football conferences he attended during a year, Tim Tebow spoke at one of them, and my dad couldn’t exaggerate enough about how much Tebow talked about God and not his own accomplishments.

Dave, the only thing you saw or heard about Tebow was either in front of a camera, in the newspaper, or on every other kind of public news feed; what you didn’t see was off camera. I’m not saying he’s the perfect Christian or anything like that, but as an athlete I saw him glorify God not his own hard work and dedication to the sport, and heard from my trustworthy father about Tebow’s undying love and faith for God. ESPN isn’t going to talk about God because they’re going to get a whole lot of criticism from people who listen to their station, or it’s possible that their bosses told them not to talk about God. I think you’re wrong about Tim Tebow and his gesture of tebowing: God was glorified by him and his faith most likely gave me many more brothers and sisters in Christ. 

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How’s the Evidence?

Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Dun state that todays young men are obsessed with porn and video games. As a sister of two brothers -one is a OIT student and the other a high school student- I can testify that video games are addictive to young men’s minds. Even though neither of my brothers watch porn, it’s a common fact that young men get sucked into it and become addicted. They make strong statements like “… they are becoming totally out of sync in traditional school classes, which are analog, static and interactively passive” without providing much evidence to support their statement. Although I do agree with their statements of the addictions of porn and videogames, but because of their small evidence with fairly strong accusations, I would find their argument not very sound.

Tracy Clark-Flory and Brian Fung bring up acceptable arguments against Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Dun’s case. Tracy argues that the average male’s loss of education does not support Zimbardo’s and Dun’s accusation that the loss of their education affects their relationship status. Brian brings up a rather considerable point in his conclusion, claiming that forty percent of gamers are females, and finishes by saying “If videogames are such a scourge upon the brain, shouldn’t we look at both genders?” Tracy Clark-Flory and Brian Fung both fight against Zimbardo’s and Dun’s short excerpt with compelling arguments, making Zimbardo’s and Dun’s arguments sound unimpressive and unprofessional.

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Google?

By using Google, are we depriving our minds from thinking for themselves? I would almost say “yes”.  I say “almost” because when I was in middle school when I started using Google. It made research for my literature papers fairly easy.  So, I will admit that Google has helped me before to find information I needed for school work, however, the more I used Google the more I turned to my computer for information that could have been inaccurate.

I didn’t notice until high school the differences between .com, .gov, and .org, until my writing teacher pointed it out for one of our assignments. I was writing a report on the Battle of the Bulge and, when I wasn’t paying attention to the ending of the website, I came gathered information that I later realized was false. The false information was where the battle had earned it’s name. The information I gained from an inaccurate webpage said the name was derived from the route the Germans took to the English Channel. When the correct derivation (which I learned from my World War Two fanatic father) was from the act of the 101st Airborne. The 101st Airborne changed its route and aided their fellow Americans at the English Channel. I don’t remember the website I got the information from, but it obviously was false. But this only goes to prove that anyone can post whatever they want on the internet, and it as sure as heck can be false.

Granted it’s not Google’s fault for giving me an inaccurate webpage, but because Google brings up anything that has the typed keywords, it’s easy just to take what’s right in front of you rather than thoroughly examining the webpages’ accuracy. In a sense, Google can make us gullible.

 

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October 8, 2013 · 3:09 am

Alien Description of Chapel

Unlike some Christian colleges, such as Corban University, it is mandatory for George Fox students to attend chapel. “Chapel” is a sacred ritual for the followers of the religion known as “Christianity”. The Earth students of George Fox University enter a holy building known as Bauman Auditorium. As they walk through the open gates to enter the sacred ground, they all gather around a tiny mechanism with a flat surface that contains the individuals identification. Thus addressing their authorities they have entered the holy ground. Once the students have made their presence known, they pursue a seating that suites their desire. The more attentive and holy of the individuals proceed to the seating nearest to the anterior part of the sanctuary, where as those who are not as holy and find no seriousness to their own ritual seat themselves at the interior end of the sanctuary and ignore their surroundings by staring at glowing devices in their hands. Who knows what those mysterious devices are capable of containing to keep them from participating in their ritual.

The ritual begins with saints praising their God vocally and with musical instruments at the anterior part of the sanctuary, raised above everyone else. The beings below them proceed to praise with them, but their voices are not amplified as greatly as the saints who posses the ability to sing louder due to a small echoing device. After the saints have satisfied their God with their praised to Him, a prophet is called upon for their God to through to them. The words of the prophet seems to astonish them greatly because they cannot stand on their legs when they listen. They all proceed to sit on cushioning underneath them because the leaders of this “chapel” seem to understand it is not possible to listen to God’s message and be able to stand. After God has spoken through the prophet, the prophet seems to fall asleep and mumble something and causes everyone else in the auditorium to do the same as he or she does. When the prophet awakes, their God leaves his or her body and the saints with instruments begin to lead everyone with praise again, to thank their God for His words of wisdom. Once the ceremony is completed, the individuals rise from their seating’s and proceed once again to the small mechanism and address, again, their identification to the mechanism, allowing their leaders to know that they have lived through the ceremony. The leaders then acknowledge the students survival in the holy grounds and reward them by giving credit to their education.

The Christian ritual of chapel exercised at George Fox University seems to have great importance to their leaders that they require the students attend so many times. Obviously, not all the students are who participate in the ritual desire to hear the message from their God, and yet find a way to avoid His message with small glowing devices. But it is for certain that those who listen to their God attain His wisdom. “Chapel” is a strange ritual, yet it is worth experimenting to attain more information on it.  

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Gang Change

The main theme I saw in this book was the life changing events in gang members due to Gregory Boyle and Homeboy Industries. Some of the stories were really funny, but a lot of them were sad and emotional. Gregory emphasized  greatly on how serious the life of a gang member was and the changed in gangsters lives.

In many cases, former gang members who wanted to start their lives over and work at Homeboy Industries had to work with people who were rivals with their own gangs. For me it would be like working with a Taliban terrorist who was responsible for the deaths of many Americans. That is easier said than done, but it did happen and, eventually, it did work. However, the new bond between former gang rivals did not seem to last long. Many of the former gang members who started their lives over were killed by gang members. It never ended. There were always gangs, always funerals, and always hatred that never seemed to end, no matter how much Homeboy Industries.

What was even more sad were the kids who grew up with parents in gangs, and thus the bad parent influence on the kids. I remember one child, who was about 7 when he did this, held a gun to his father and threatened him at if he ever abused his mother again he’d kill him. I was happy that the kid was willing to take a stand for his mother, but the option of putting a bullet through his fathers head was beyond sad. That was actually the most common reason for people joining gangs; parental influence. The kids reflected whatever their parents did, so the former gang members who had had that childhood wanted to give their kids a better one; one with a mom and dad who loved each other and taught their kids moral values so that when they grew up they won’t have anything to do with gangs.

It was incredible to walk through Gregory’s experiences with gang members who wanted to start their lives over, but even though the number of gangs seem to grow, the number of funerals seem infinite, and hate will never end Homeboy Industries saved a lot of lives that would not have been saved without them.

 

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